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Anecdotes
& Jokes 
Anekdotai & Juokai |
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SOCIALISM: You
have 2 cows; you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both
and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both
and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and
shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes
both, shoots one, milks the
other, and then throws the milk away...
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government
requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You
sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You
sell them and retire on
the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. Later,
you hire a consultant to
analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go
on strike, organize a
riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times
the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon
image called 'cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but
you don't know where they
are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again and learn
you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop
counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of
them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.
CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have
300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high
bovine
productivity, and execute the newsman who
reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
worship them.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots
of cows. You tell them
that you have one. No-one believes you, so they
bomb you and
invade your country. You still have no cows, but
at least now you are part
of a Democracy....
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on
the left looks very
attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office
and go for a few beers to celebrate.
and finally a ...
LITHUANIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. One
commits suicide. Another one starts to envy the dead one and
also commits suicide. Then you commit suicide,
but good doctors save your life with their bare
hands. |
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